Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Just high enough for therapy.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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