i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
