why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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