I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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