At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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