my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm just crazy horny about you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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