I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
The Olympian is in my bed
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