Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just blew my weed a kiss
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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