he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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