An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
