Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm too high and old for this...
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
