accomplished twins. life is a go
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
