my being single is dangerous.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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