The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
