it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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