My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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