girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
