Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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