Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i think i have two assholes
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
