I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
