a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
