I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize