just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
