No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
