idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
