I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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