We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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