If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
