I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
The best revenge is premature balding
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
