I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
