I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
