My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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