i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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