'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
