Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
