I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
My dick has a subreddit
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
