so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
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