Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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