Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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