oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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