so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
