the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
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I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I love how my cats smell like pot.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
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I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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