i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
