There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
