I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
where am i from again
we made out on top of his cat.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
