Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
