Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
There r osticjed everywhere
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize