So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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