My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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