if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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