Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
