my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Randomize
