hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize