I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
