The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
this just has baby written all over it
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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