Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
