I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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