Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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