His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize